I am delighted that so many of you have shared insightful comments on a previous post about what makes a marriage/relationship successful. Many thanks to those of you who took the time to post your comments especially to the couples who have been together for many, many years who shared their insights!
I have read through all the inspiring submissions and have compiled 100 tips in bullet form below from all the comments you shared. For the full posts, please see the previous blog.
And I’ll leave you with a creative comment:
M ake allowances for the other’s weaknesses and shortcomings
A ccept your spouse with all his/her smooth and rough edges
R espond to the other’s needs with a heart full of love and compassion
R eason issues out 2gether and the day and night can only get better
I f the fire of love seems to be dimming out and you find that you cannot love him/her the way you used to
A t least try to be loveable and be present for the other in body, soul, heart and spirit
G ive, give and give more of yourself and also remember that God is the third being in that relationship. Finally, know that husband and wife should be as two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of
E ach other!
Also see my related post, ‘What to look for in a spouse’? which discusses how to prepare for a successful marriage by finding a suitable mate.
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Love this so much!
Wow!!!! Fantastic list!
Dear Elika, you have done a wonderful job to collect this precious list which can help anyone who strives for a happier and more meaningful relationship.
I can not stop reading and sharing. Thank so much.
Thank you all so much. So glad you all benefited from the list.
Pingback: Music Giveaway for a Couple YOU nominate! | Elika Mahony| Vocalist, composer, pianist, and artist
I would love to nominate Douglas R. C. Charles and his wife Nika. They have been together for three years and are heartily devoted to one another. Douglas has just graduated from the University of Washington with his B.S. in Biology. His plan is to continue on and become a Professor teaching at the Community College level, he believes the classes are smaller and he can have an impact on students who are studying Biology. He and his wife are planning on starting a family soon. Douglas was on Pilgrimage this past year during March and was very deeply moved by his experience there. He has been a Baha’i since he turned 15 and is one of the few members of the Haida Tribe to have been so Blessed.
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Pingback: Marriage - an ongoing conversation - Elika Mahony| Vocalist, composer, pianist, and artist | Elika Mahony| Vocalist, composer, pianist, and artist
More recent marriage tips from 2020
A Few Recommendations for a Lasting Marriage
1) Keep it Fresh
2) Don’t Bail Out
3) Serve Together
Keep it Fresh: Continue to go out on dates at least once every other week. Leave behind work, life’s concerns, children, and friends and just take time together. Don’t miss out on the rejuvenation of vacations either.
Don’t Bail Out: In society today as soon as there is a disagreement it seems like one of the parties heads out the door. Stay together, do the hard work, consult about it, pray about it. With a little meditation you my decide there was some truth in what was said and maybe there is room for you to change a little bit. Years later you’ll realize the work was worth it!!
Serve Together: Have your own life and your own interest but find time to serve together. Serve your community, your neighborhood, your family, the Cause. The bond we undergo teaching children’s classes together or providing homework help for refugee children is palpable. We forget ourselves, our concerns, and our issues for just a little while when helping others.
One of the sage pieces of advice which was given to us by a wonderful Persian couple (Dr. Javanmardi and his wife Maheen) On one of our visits to their home we noticed that
despite their may years of marriage (40 years) their relationship with each other was so loving and fresh. He informed me that it took them a long time to realize that we as human
beings make lots of mistakes with our spouses, ever knowing that we might have hurt each others feelings, simply because we were unaware.
What they concluded they would do is that each night when they were ready for bed after offering their evening prayers, they would ask if they had hurt the others’ heart.
With that they would apologize and try and not make the same mistakes in the future. What they told us was that we should never go to sleep harbouring these feelings.
So, to now honour this special couple, I pass it along to you.
You can’t compare your marriage to anyone else’s… each is unique. We have been married just about 20 years now and we were not able to have children yet we’ve discovered that we can still have children in our lives by being active in the community, namely with children’s classes! And personally, I have learned that the more I work on my self-growth and strengthen my own connection to our Amazing Creator, the more fruitful the marriage becomes. Perhaps there is more I could say but I will keep it simple! ☺️
“Marriage is not a castle