Several friends have approached me with questions about what to look for in a spouse. My husband and I came up with a list of questions to ask yourself when getting to know someone. Please add more to the list.
Do they give you the space and support to be the person you are supposed to be not the person they want you to be?
Are they kind?
Do they create unity around them (what is their relationship with friends and family)?
Do they bring out the best in you?
Do you communicate well together?
What are the things about them that annoy you or you don’t like and can you live with those?
What are the spiritual qualities you see in them?
Do they put their faith at the centre of their lives?
Are they in a learning mode and are they trying to overcome their challenges?
How do they deal with challenges?
What is their attitude towards life? Are they optimistic, positive thinkers?
Do they see stumbling blocks or do they see stepping stones? Do they see the problem or do they see the opportunity?
Do they bring you peace of mind?
Below are a few more wonderful questions that some friends of mine have shared on my facebook link: – Is this person ready to be a partner in caring for and supporting children and other work? – Do they reflect on the outcome of their own action or lack of action and learn from them? (This requires taking responsibility for the outcome of their actions.) – Are they willing to work hard? – Do they have a number of long-term close friends? This speaks to their ability to sustain a relationship. – Do they demonstrate selflessness in any aspect of their lives? – Do they treat their parent of the opposite sex, with respect? This is often (not always) an indication of how they will treat their spouse at least in part.
I would love to hear your thoughts and if you have more ideas of what to look for please post them below.